Given the crappy pay and job prospects, a lot of TEFLer understandably have money worries. Not me! And unlike most TEFLers who don’t worry about money, it’s not because I haven’t thought about the future.
The way I see it, the future could go one of several ways, none of which will be affected by stressing about them, and the only future worth worrying about is so unlikely as to be hardly worth considering.
The reasonably possible futures are:
- The invention of cold fusion, improvements in robotics etc will mean that all humans will be able to live a life of luxury on the moon or Mars, however bad their career choices up to that point
- Someone who loves my worksheets will suddenly become filthy rich and offer me shitloads of cash to express their eternal gratitude for my help with making “this/ that/ these/ those” or the Unreal Past teachable
- Enough authors working for the big publishers will unable to resist the temptation to rip off my free online worksheets that I’ll be able to sue them for a bucket full of gold coins
- The boom in mixed-race minor celebrities in Japan will last long enough that I can live off vaguely amusing anecdotes about the childhood of my daughter
- I’ll become the first foreigner to live permanently in a cardboard box with the homeless in Ueno Park in Tokyo
- The environmental apocalypse will leave all us living in cardboard boxes in parks, sewers, fields, etc – making me feel much better about it
- The stress of having to look for another job at age 60 when my employers lay me off at their obligatory retirement age without having actually offered me any pension plan up to that point will make me have a fatal heart attack or stroke in my last class at the age of 59 years and 364 days
- I’ll save just enough money to be able to afford to be able to spend 3 months trying to drink myself to death in best possible way in the beer bars of Belgium (before going the Ueno Park route if I am unfortunate enough to survive any longer than that)
- Aliens will invade and become benign overloads that sort out this screwed up society of ours
- Aliens will invade and wipe us all out
The virtually impossible future that it’s not even worth thinking about is:
- That I will save enough money to have a comfortable retirement