13 reasons why chairs with flaps are better than tables

1. When beating out word and sentence stress, chairs with flaps allows for more Stomp-style variations such as shaking the whole chair and flapping the flaps up and down.

2. The dropping and picking up of various classroom accoutrements helps keep students physically active, awake and alert, and therefore able to learn more.

3. The periodic sound of books, pens, notebooks etc falling on the floor has the pleasing aesthetic effect of rain on a forest canopy, helping to take away student stress and so make them readier to communicate.

4. Flaps can lead to real classroom communication like “Can you hold my book for me while I try to get out of here so we can change pairs again?” and “How on earth are we supposed to fit all these cut up pieces of paper on a flap, let alone put them into order?”

5. As in drama lessons and therapy, it’s best to make our students feel as physically exposed and vulnerable as possible. If that makes them burst into tears occasionally when doing particularly therapeutic humanistic language learning activities, all the better.

6. Being able to physically hide behind desks might make students also hide their knowledge of phrasal verbs or desire to know about the Present Perfect Continuous.

7. When doing TPR activities, having flaps allows the learning of useful vocabulary such as “Put your flap at a 45 degree angle”, “Put a flap of skin between the flap and its hinge” and “Bash your knee on your flap as you try to stand up”, rather than just the usual “Touch the table” and “Put the book under the table”.

8. The aforementioned flap-related injuries also provides a good opportunity to teach swearing and/ or euphemisms like “Sugar!” and “Gor blimey!”

9. Male students can exploit the space in front of them to practise the “ankle of one foot on the knee of the other” seating position during the lesson as part of their cultural training.

10. “Flaps” sounds like an amusing euphemism for something.

11. Flaps allow for more creative love making by the teachers in their weekly Friday night orgy after all the students have gone home.

12. The inevitable few teachers who are too shy and/ or inexperienced to take part in that can make castles out of them.

13. Just like with cubicles in offices, we can absolutely trust that chairs with flaps were put into schools purely for the benefit of the people who use them, with the fact that they also help schools stuff more people into small spaces just a lucky coincidence.

This entry was posted in Teaching English as a Foreign Language and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to 13 reasons why chairs with flaps are better than tables

  1. You forgot the MAIN benefit – unrestricted views of the students legs….
    Though maybe not always a positive – the chubby legs of Japanese high-schoolers not being to everyone’s taste.

    But seriously – I hate chairs with flaps with a vengeance too.

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