What student compliments really mean

Thank you for your patience. – You almost managed to conceal your irritation.

My classmates were very patient. – It was classmates who actually taught me./ Why didn’t you spot I was in the wrong class and move me?/ You made my embarrass myself in front of my classmates with my crap English.

I think I learned a lot. – The class was much too difficult for me.

I think the class was really suitable for me. – I spent 90% of the course convinced otherwise, but I kind of got used to it – perhaps it was the Stockholm Syndrome./ …so I don’t agree with all my classmates who are still bitching about it.

Thanks, we didn’t learn that in junior high school. – I don’t believe you. We didn’t study that in junior high school.

I’m sorry for not working harder. – I only came here to get some motivation to study English, and it didn’t happen.

I understand British English much better now – … around five percent of what you say, compared to the 1% at the beginning of the course.

I like British English. – I fancy Daniel Craig./ I hate Americans.

It was a really interesting topic – … but I didn’t actually learn anything from it.

My confidence is improving – …because I already knew everything we covered in the course.

I now feel ready to use English outside class – … because it can’t be as painful as being in class was.

I’m really motivated now – …to actually learn something next term./ … by how painful it was trying to cope in that class.

I feel ready for the next level – … because that’s the class I should have been in in the first place.

This language is very useful – … unlike everything else that we’ve studied in this course.

It’s great to learn real English. – I looked up those swear words you mutter under your breath sometimes.

I learnt so much about British/ American/ Australian culture – …from your odd behaviour/ from hearing about your obviously insane family.

My teacher is really friendly. – My teacher seems to be hitting on me.

Your self-study tips were really useful – … so I don’t need to come to this class anymore.

Any more interpretations or compliments which need translating?

More TEFLtastic attempts at humour here.