Useful TEFL-based euphemisms for your everyday life

Especially useful if your response to the double whammy of hitting your midlife crisis while still a TEFLer was to start an affair with a colleague or student (rather than the even worse option of starting a TEFL blog) and you want to be able to talk or write about it without anyone getting suspicious. Or if you are in a TEFL couple, you could use this to talk about your sex lives in front of others such as your parents or kids without them having any idea.

Actions

Focus on form – letchery

Framing move – trapping someone in the corner during a party

Transition markers – things that make you think you might be in there

ZPD (zone of proximal development) – how close you have to stand to make sure the other person is interested

Task-based Approach – coming on to someone by showing them how to do something, e.g. standing behind them and holding their hands on a pool cue

Lead in/ Warmer – chat up line/ foreplay

Connected speech – kissing

Linguistics – French kiss

Audiolingual – tongue in ear

Bottom-up – hand up skirt

Skimming and scanning – very quick foreplay

TOEIC – footsie/ toe sucking

Threshold Level – second base

Mingle – hand down someone’s trousers

Handout – handjob

Fluency – getting wet

Pairwork – sex

Gap filling – penetrative sex

Groupwork – three-way sex

Change pairs – wife swapping

PPP – piss sex

Detailed comprehension – tantric sex

Dogme – doggy style

Mock test – S&M that doesn’t actually hurt

Distance learning – phone sex

MOOC/ Community Language Learning – orgy

Applied linguistics – cunnilingus

Observation – watching other people at it

Fostering learner autonomy – watching someone pleasure themselves

Blind observation – listening to people having sex next door

Behaviourism – spanking

Blended – mixed-sex threesome

Third person S – three people with the middle one upside down

Corpus – necrophilia

Relative clause – back scratching that doesn’t leave a mark

Cohesion – getting stuck together like a couple of mating foxes

Complexity – a particularly complicated sexual position

Controlled – bondage

Scaffolding – elaborate Japanese-style rope bondage

Descriptive – talking dirty

Prescriptive – telling the other person what to do

Direct Method – quick shag

Drilling – banging away

First Certificate – losing your virginity

Exposure – flashing/ public sex

Fricative – dry heave

Hedging – cruising in a park

Immersion – going down on someone

Meaning-focussed – lots of looking in each other’s eyes during the act

Natural approach – rhythm method

The Silent Way – married sex

Voiced/ Suggestopedia – a constant commentary on what is or isn’t working

Information gap – anonymous sex

Controlled practice – masturbation for training purposes

Self-correction – the kind of thing Tory MPs accidently kill themselves doing

EF – fuck

St Giles – missionary position

Mixed levels – 69

Trinity – threesome

Camebridge – pearl necklace

Roleplay debate – disagreement over how you are willing to dress up

Error correction – teaching someone how to do it properly

False beginner – Pretending to be a virgin

Liaison – liaison

Roleplay – roleplay

Sentence transformation – law-enforcement related roleplay

Alibi Game – third degree from your wife

Objects

Language – lingerie

Worksheet – rubber sheets

Affix – strap-on

Facilitation – KY jelly

Filler – dildo

General Service List – little black book

Input enhancement – penis extension

Revision – morning after pill

Workbook – Karma Sutra

Syntax – flowers etc to your wife

People

PET – a toyboy/ a gimp

Body parts

TTT – double Ds

Chunks – buttocks/ breasts

Lexis – legs

Input – penis

ARELS – anus

BULATS – bollocks

Bell International – bellend

Base form – Impotent male member

Misc

Connotation – double entendres

Explicit knowledge – carnal knowledge

Chair with flaps – seated woman with no knickers

Fossilization – Viagra-assisted hard on that won’t go down

Headwords – things that pop into your mind during sex that you really shouldn’t say

Articulation – bendiness

Silent period – the moments before a screamer starts doing her thing

Free practice – an open relationship

Translation – crossdressing

Critical period – just before coming

For additional ELT-related double entendres and more, you could see the Alternative A to Z of ELT Jargon, and add your own ideas in comments here or there.

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5 Responses to Useful TEFL-based euphemisms for your everyday life

  1. Hilarious if rather close to the bone in my case! Especially the mid-life crisis bit.

  2. alexcase says:

    When I first started reading your comment, I thought it was going to end… “Especially the having an affair bit”. Of course, it does still leave that possibility open 🙂

  3. Well – now you mention it…

  4. alexcase says:

    Your secret is safe with us, and anyway as I said probably much better than starting a TEFL blog…

  5. OMG! I really enjoyed. I think I have some vocabulary homework to do. I mean seriously ! jajajjaa……where’s my workbook?

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