If you are feeling down about someone quitting your class

…to make you feel better, don’t worry, it’s probably not your teaching. Instead, it could be because:

– they were so embarrassed by a grammar mistake they made that they can never show their face in your class again

– all the smiling square jawed models in the textbook were making them jealous and depressed

– the world news that you talk about in class made them depressed

– they knew the Past Perfect was coming up and couldn’t bear to study it again

– they were feeling guilty about never trying any of your self-study tips

– they finally found out how much they could learn just by using those self-study tips

– they only took your class so they could use a particular idiom they learnt, and after three weeks they still haven’t managed to get it into conversation

– they only took your class so they could use a particular idiom they learnt, and they finally managed to use it

– they took your class to tell an ignorant foreign teacher about their country, and it turns out you know more about the country than they do

– they thought joining a class would give them the motivation they have lacked in the 25 years since they started learning English, and it unsurprisingly didn’t turn out to be the case

– they finally realised that it was much more important to spend time with their family/ learn Chinese/ get exercise/ cook a decent healthy dinner

– the IWB gave them headaches

– having to interact with other students gave them headaches

– they found out what football team you support

– they saw a movie based in the place you are from and became now convinced that you’d suddenly turn into a depressed nutter like the people in that film

– they saw a movie based in the place you are from and were disappointed that you are just an ordinary person who doesn’t do anything crazy or exciting

– they couldn’t bear seeing your cheap suit, shirt and shoes again

– you letched

– you letched the other students but not them

– they lost hope that you’d ever hit on them

– they tried to hit on another student and that person didn’t even notice

– one of their classmates beat them to the only eligible male/ female in the class

– they finally realised you are/ aren’t gay

– now that you’re one year older, they don’t fancy you anymore

– they realised that blond hair wasn’t worth ten times the price of a Filipino Skype teacher

– you smell

– whatever it is you use to hide your smell smells even worse

– they read your blog

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