What is your motivation for studying English?
• too much free time
• to date or marry a foreigner
• to date fellow students
• to save money on air conditioning/ heating
• to get revenge on your boss by showing him up next time a foreign guest comes
Why do you think your English is still so crap after all that study?
What makes you think we can succeed where so many other schools have failed?
Is there anything about your personality that would make our teachers or other students not want to spend time with you?
What is it that stops you from just studying on your own?
What made you choose this school?
• a fit teacher
• a fit fellow student
• a fit receptionist
• a mistaken belief that the model in one of our ads was a student/ teacher
• a mistaken belief that we are associated with another school or university due to our name
• you’ve been blacklisted by every other school
• you went out for a pint of milk and are still not quite sure why you came in for a level test
• you were walking past and needed the toilet
• we are the only school using a particularly old/ new textbook and you’ve gone through every other one available locally without managing to go up a level
• you are going through every level test in town and will choose the school that puts you in the highest level class
• our crappy marketing made you think we must be cheap
• the fact that our posters and pamphlets have not one word of English made you feel reassured
• you were planning on going to a school further along the street but couldn’t be bothered walking any further
• you’re not sure, but it might well have been the nice smell of food coming from downstairs/ next door
More serious ideas here if you came here by mistake:
Any more sarcastic ideas?