The dream dictionary for TEFL teachers

What elements of your dreams tell you about your TEFLing future:

Suddenly realising you have no clothes on – you will realise halfway through your next improvised grammar explanation that it doesn’t make any sense
 
Water – You will desperately need to go for a pee halfway through your first lesson the next day
 
Falling and falling then waking up – you will be rescued from a difficult question by the end of lesson bell
 
Doing the same thing over and over – your school will again refuse to switch to New Headway next year, even though the rest of the world is on the Third Edition
 
A cold wind – you will walk into class with your flies open

Being chased – one of your housewife students will start to stalk you
 
Flying effortlessly – your lesson plan will work all the way through for the first time
 
Walking through an empty town – all your students will skip class due to a puente

Speaking a language fluently that you don’t know in real life – You will use jargon that you don’t understand and get away with it
 
Suddenly realising you are in your pyjamas – Your mind will drift so much in the classroom that you’ll lose track of where you are on your lesson plan
 
Your teeth crumbling in your mouth – You will lose the ability to speak at normal native speaker speed due to having too many Elementary classes
 
Waking up and doing your normal daily routine then really waking up – You will use the same worksheet or game with the same class for the second time this term

A monster under the bed- A student will ask about the only part of the grammar that you didn’t research before the class

Being able to do magic- You will be able to successfully explain the Future Perfect for the first time

A witch- Your gay DoS will leave and the butch female ADoS will be left in charge

Being lost- You will deviate from your lesson plan during an observed lesson and have no idea how to get back on topic

Sex- You won’t get any until you get some money

Having sex with a friend you have never had sexual feelings about- You will start to become excited about grammar

Needing to go the toilet- You will have something fun to do after your last class that will make it seem like it goes on forever

Walking through a large empty house and opening lots of doors- You will have to search through at least seven supplementary photocopiable books for each suitable worksheet you find

Death- Your students will be glad to get to the end of your warmer

Being abandoned- The one student that speaks out when you elicit will be absent next week

Being late- You will get to the end of the lesson and realise you’ve only had time for the warmer

Hiding from someone- The Director of Studies will be too busy to observe you this week as planned

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This entry was posted in Grammar, Teaching English Abroad, Teaching English in Spain, Warmers, Working conditions and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The dream dictionary for TEFL teachers

  1. Jut says:

    Great guide, very handy. If I may, here are five more:

    Finding treasures on the ground- After routinely spending approximately 15% of the lesson picking up pens that students have clumsily thrust from their desks, you will discover an unclaimed four-colour Bic for you to keepsies.

    Being attacked by a wild beast- You will painfully bang your hip again on the little board marker tray at the bottom of the whiteboard. This time drawing blood.

    Loss- Although you’ve looked everywhere, you can’t find Jin Sun’s homework that you asked her to rewrite, nor figure out how to tell/lie to her about it.

    Feelings of despair, helplessness, terror- The one photocopier has run out of toner and it’s going to take a week of material-free ‘Dogme’ lessons before a new one arrives.

    Walking through a cemetary- On picking up the next coursebook that you have to use, you remember that the texts are about footballers from the 90s, Elvis Presley and Bananarama.

  2. Alex Case says:

    Fabulous, especially the last one – keep them coming!

    Seems you already have, but you can find similar stuff by clicking on the Humour tag at the bottom of the post.

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