At a news conference in the French embassy in London just hours after being freed from a British jail due to a special pardon by President Gordon Brown, Jeanne Boiseauauxauex gave a brief speech in which she said “I have had a great time during my 3 months in Lancashire and the people have been very friendly once they found out that Lille isn’t in Yorkshire. I am have great respect for the religion of the British people, and allowing the children to name the school frog Diana was in no way intended as an insult to the Princess Diana worshippers. In fact, I was totally unaware that frogs are considered unclean animals in the UK. Wait a minute! Frogs are considered dirty and disgusting animals?? I’ll kill those little bra…”
The press conference ended without a question and answer session.
Although many commentators saw the release of Ms Boioihoihoissseux as a victory for the moderate faction of LadyDiists, several callers on the World Have Your Say BBC Radio programme suggested that the whole thing was cooked up to distract from the illegal war and torture camps in which the previous British regime, of which Supreme Leader Gordon Brown formed a part, had launched the country despite widespread worldwide condemnation- a war that is still unresolved.
Other callers suggested that due to the weakened position of the unelected Gordon Brown and the chances of a referundum amongst his own tribesmen leading to a breakaway state, it might actually be the fact that the French teacher allowed a free vote of the kids that lead to the swift action by the British authorities against her. Still other callers thought that she should have known better than to venture into a violent hotspot like Blackburn in the first place.
The French government has announced the setting up of a special cultural sensitivity training scheme for people moving to the UK. During the course, trainees will study other famous cultural misunderstandings involving Britain, such as the “Is it winner stays on?” Anglo Soviet crisis of 1975, and the near war in the waters off Gibraltar caused by a Spanish footballer asking for white coffee in Peckham with the words “I don’t like black”